Fasabrun Jamil
If giving my everything is what it takes, I won't hesitate, not for even a second.

Do you ever have someone who is always by your side no matter in what condition you are? The person who always care about you, your aurat and also your life besides your parents?

I have.

And he is my brother.


He already became a protector since he was like 11 years old and at that time I was 14 years old. I was not allowed to go anywhere alone or else, he will go on behalf of me.

I still remembered after SPM, I was so bored. I wanted to go outside the house, but then suddenly he bought me jigsaw puzzle and a novel 😎 (so that I will just stay at home). And during my ‘turning point’, he was the one who kept advised me with his deep talks. I miss that moment.

And when I wanted to pursue my study, the only thing he gave to me was tafsir Quran. He said, no matter how far you’ll go, bring ‘lights’ with you. And I never forget it. My life was became totally dull and boring when he went to PLKN. Oh my, day after day I thought of having him around would be much better. At least I have him to talk to. Yes, I indeed have another siblings but if I was going to talk about something deep and needed advices, I will go to him.

Everytime when I wanted to go out, he will be the observer. Hijab should cover what it needs to be covered. Loose clothes and of course should be appropriate to wear. No tight pants, and don’t forget the socks 😜. Yes, he take cares of everything. And nope, I didn’t feel burden. Doesn’t it good for having someone to remind us?

Whenever I found out that my exam results were not good enough, he told me that it’s okay. I already did my best. It’s okay. I already tried. And it’s okay. At least I went to university 😂. whenever I thought my journey was difficult, his was much more harder. But at least he got what he wanted the most.

When I started my career, and he was at his study place, distance kept us far away. But we never missed to call each other. And the funniest moment was, whenever I did call him, his friends always thought that I was his girlfriend. Yup, he didn’t has a girlfriend and yes, I do proud of him. I somehow thought if I can be as good as him. But I know, the gap is too far. I can’t be like him.

Learning was never easy. That’s why when he said that he can’t do that anymore, I force him to give all out. Because I have faith on him. Because I know learning is required. Life without learn, is such a waste. And I want him to achieve his dream, a dream that he builds since secondary school.

I always wanted to go to his convocation ceremony but I can’t make it because it’s today and because I already apply leave for next week. So I asked ma and abah to take his picture. And ma message me telling that he looks so handsome. I know. He always being a handsome guy (that’s what I always told him). Sorry for can’t make it on your graduation even I know he is so happy knowing that (he didn’t want me to go actually 😝).

You did it at last and I am so proud of you. Our journey might be different, but as long as we keep walking, there’s always a light waiting.

With love,

Your forever loveliest sister 😊.