Fasabrun Jamil
Not a flower surprise again
I love surprise. That’s when people are so busy with their work and suddenly your surprise appear in front of them. And that’s what I am trying to do.

We are so busy managing our daily tasks and sometimes we don’t even have time to WhatsApp with each other. I am in IT industry while he is in engineering field. So our job scope are totally different. But yeah, I need his knowledge sometimes when it comes to turbine, compressor and etc. 🙄.

And I also told him the differences between license server and ftp server so that he aware about it and not simply said ‘server is down server is down’ because server is not easily down by the way. Ok, I should stop giving lecture.

Going back to the surprise, yeah, I found out a website that sell cakes, cookies and chocolates. And the best part is, they deliver on the SAME DAY. So being an impatient me, I really appreciate the same day delivery. Yela kan. Takkan orang stress harini pastu nak bagi surprise 3 hari selepas kan. Like seriously?

So I scroll and scroll and yes! I found it!

Macaroon!

Why I bought it for the surprise? Because I love the box. It looks so exclusive for me. Plus, I had enough with flowers. So I choose macaroon and add on a card. Of course I need to wish something to cheer up the day right?

So after few clicks, tadaa! Macaroon has been processed to be delivered to the right person.

And of course, my surprise indeed successful because my fiancé was so shocked and didn’t expect it. Well, if he had expected it to come, then we don’t call it surprise la. We called it spoil. Luckily he likes it. Plus, he said the macaroon was so nice and I was relieved.

But I am the expected person 😝
Syafakallah by The Vespa Rider
I was having a little bit headache lately and I thought I need therapy or rest. And as usual, being in the bookstore must be a good try to remove all illness (for me). So yeah, I grab these two books last week and already finished in two days. In conclusion, my headache gone after two days without consuming any pills. How nice.


Title: Syafakallah
Author: The Vespa Rider
Pages: 170
Where I bought: Kinokuniya KLCC

What I expect?

I once thought that this book is like hipster poem. Like,

You thought I’m weak,
But I’m strong.
.
.
.
.

And the full page is leaving blank. So wasting.

That was what I thought la.

What it actually tells?

Then I brought that book to TBS and read it while waiting for my bus. And guess what? I did LOVE it by just reading the introduction or should I said, I LOVE it for the very first page of this book.
It is about life and the writer’s observation. The writer claims that the poems are raw pieces. Yes, it is indeed raw pieces. It is from the heart (the writer’s heart I mean) (eh memandai pulak tau hati orang @___@) and everything just hit me directly on my face. That’s why I found it too deep. Maybe because I was a little bit adapted? Well, maybe.

And I think it is a good choice of book to read especially for the youngsters out there. Don’t worry, you can understand all of them. It’s not like a Shakespeare’s piece pun so don’t be afraid. There’s a lot of things that you can learn and ‘see’ from what the writer is trying to say. And of course, you might have the feeling of being ‘the better you’ after you finish it.


Let’s try to read, ok?
Memories, even your most precious ones, fade surprisingly quickly.

It is sad knowing that I don’t have many pictures and videos of my family. We are indeed always together but still, we are human being and we just live temporarily. In the end, there will be only memory left. So I decide to capture as much pictures and videos as I can and make folders just for them. And I separate it into two. One for my parents and another one for family.

I once read article in Reader’s Digest regarding this matter and it makes me ponder about myself. Yes, I didn’t record my parents’ voice and I was so scared if I forgot how they sound. So, with the latest technology in the market, I used to have their live photos and HD videos as well. I can watch them clearly.

I capture every moment with them, be it in the car or at restaurants; I just took their photos and sometimes they don’t even know that I did. Well, it’s sad to know how our parents keep taking our photos since the first day we born until now, but we just have a few photos of them.

I was quite impacted by the article and thanks to the writer that I just found out about this and still have time to do so. If not, I think I will regret it till the end of the day. People come and go, of course. But we have the option to let their memory stay, right?

Soon, we will lose them. And as time passed by, we will slowly forget their voice, their laugh and their smile. And I want to keep them all. Who knows that we will watch it again in 3 years later and giggling together looking how we are aging. Kan?

I miss home.

And of course I am going to go back again.

And I am going to capture as much memory as I can.

Who cares if I am already 26 years old and still homesick? 
Sometimes, what you need is ignoring thing that blocking your journey and keep walking. Why letting people to decide on your behalf? You have your own opinion and this is your life. Make it worth before it is too late to discover.
I love that. Shall we make a move for a better life?


My Kind of Presents

My brother asked me what kind of presents that I like. I guess he’s trying to ask me what presents do girls like 😏. But yeah, I didn’t tease him. And yet, I told him my preferences. Of course he was laughing.

I don’t like cliché things. I mean, the flowers, the chocolates, the teddy bears, the candle light dinner or any other sweet little things that cliché. I don’t like them all. It’s common. But of course I won’t throw them away if people give them to me kan. I am the one who appreciate every little things so it won’t matter. And this is just my opinion. 

He did asked me why. People said it always easy to find a gift for a girl. Well, maybe I’m excluded. I also don’t know why.

I like flowers especially pink roses. But I don’t have place to put them. I like chocolates but I eat them only once in a blue moon because I don’t like to eat sweet things. I like teddy bears too but only the one that appear in Korean drama. Because they are cute. And yes, I don’t feel like “OMG that’s flowerssss!” or “Ohmyyy what a lovely chocolate!” or “I love that teddyyyyyy!”.

No. I don’t exaggerate over those things. 

There will be one and only thing that can turn up my mood and of course, it’s book. I know I know. People might said like, “Helloooo, books are far more boring dude!”. But yeah, being me, I never care and don’t even care. So in conclusion, I only over exaggerate on books. Yes, as easy as that.

But surprisingly, my brother didn’t laugh. Instead, he said that was good because you will always remember who give you that book and it has its own sentimental value. Yeah, I love that. I love his idea of being that matured. 

“Books make great gifts because they have whole worlds inside of them. And it's much cheaper to buy somebody a book than it is to buy them the whole world!” ― Neil Gaiman

So, end of my opinion. Other people might have opposite opinion of mine but that’s okay. We are different in our own way and I’m cool with it. And since your girlfriend is not me, so follow her not mine 😉.

Happy time in Kinokuniya ❤

Have a nice day everyone!

Family isn't blood. It's the people who love you. The people who have your back.


How does it feel to have two families?

I guess it’s going to be havoc. I was raised in a big family with 4 siblings (I am the eldest) and I have like 13 uncles and aunties together from my mom’s side (I am the eldest niece and grandchild). So people always know how havoc my life is. Oh that list didn’t include my father’s side because there are so many of them.

But I get used with it. I mingling with people easily. I’m not that friendly (enough) but once I get to know or talk to people, the chemistry started to grow. So when my friend asked me how will I cope with it when I get married, I told her that I think it should be fine (confident ok 😜). 

It was common when I went anywhere, I will bought them souvenirs. When I said them, it includes all of my family members, not just my siblings. My friends always wondering why I bought so many things everytime we went for shopping and I told them, these for my uncles, these for my aunties, these for my cousins, and the list goes on.

Well, don’t worry. It’s common to me. It didn’t cost a lot to see people happy sometimes. Just a small act of kindness will make them feel appreciated. I will bought them something that I capable. I mean, capable with my budget. Ma said, don’t be too ‘stingy’. Don’t be too strict with budget. InsyaAllah, there are so many ways of rezeki that Allah holds for us. The more we give, the more we get 😊. Love you Ma.

We have this kind of tradition whereby, we will have eating-together session. So let say this month my family held a makan-makan programme, next month could be done at my uncle’s house or my aunt’s house. And we were met each other at that time. Hmm I miss them.

I am going to get married like everyone else later (insya-Allah) and I am going to have another family 😉. My family is getting bigger and I can’t wait to mixed up with them all. Of course a little bit nervous. But like they said, the more the merrier! 

...

“Home is people. Not a place. If you go back there after the people are gone, then all you can see is what is not there any more.” 
― Robin HobbFool's Fate



Life, please fare us better

Langkawi, 2016
"Dan tiadalah kehidupan dunia ini, selain dari main-main dan senda gurau belaka. Dan sungguh kampung akhirat itu lebih baik bagi orang-orang yang bertakwa. Maka tidakkah kamu memahaminya?" (Surah Al-An'Am ayat 32).

...


“All little girls should be told they are pretty, even if they aren't.”

This is just a random post.

It just hits me when I had a conversation about girls nowadays who are so easily been lied in social media especially in WeChat. I know I can’t simply blaming the,. The reason why they are being so easy with guys is because lack of love. And this is what I observe from those girls.

Parents and family play the most important role here. As a girl, she needs attention. She needs someone who can pampers her and treats her like a princess. So here goes the parents’ responsibility. The father should repeatedly say that she is beautiful. She has the fair and flawless skin. She indeed pretty in her own way and whatever she wears, makes her looks like an angel.

And she might smiling all day listens to this saying 😊. Plus, brothers should be educate to do the same. It’s not haram pun to take care of your sisters. Hold her hands when you want to cross the road together or let her sleep on your shoulders when you are sharing seat in the car. Protect her. Let her feels secured. Let her know you love her. And insyaAllah she won’t get influenced with those ‘parasite’ guys out there.

When she get used to those stuffs, she wouldn’t care anymore if there is a guy with a sweet talks telling her these. Because she already heard that from her father, her brothers, or even her uncles. And she wouldn’t care too if her friends looking so sweet holding hands with their boyfriend because the guys in her family already did that to her since she was a kid.

Well, who cares if a guy tell her she is beautiful? She heard it repeatedly tho. She already knew it. So those kind of puji-pujian thingy is a common things to her. It’s not a big deal pun. Sounds arrogant, doesn’t it? But it’s better than fall into the trap of a bad relationship.

I love what Khaled Hosseini said in his book.
“I know you’re still young but I want you to understand and learn this now. Marriage can wait, education cannot. You’re a very very bright girl. Truly you are. You can be anything you want Laila. I know this about you. And also I know that when this war is over Afghanistan is going to need you as much as its men maybe even more. Because a society has no chance of success if its women are uneducated Laila. No chance.” 
-Khaled Hosseini, A Thousand Splendid Suns

Marriage can wait, education cannot.

Because a society has no chance if its women are uneducated.

Go and chase your dream, dear girls. Because it’s education that will make you different. Make your parents proud and lucky for having a daughter like you. Make them feel worth of the struggle to get birth of you. Let’s get your life busy with knowledge because knowledge is powerful 😏.
A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.

Marriage is not about the sweet little things like eating together, go to work together or holding hands together. It’s not just that. It is all about the responsibility and acceptance. It’s about creating a new relationship with a new family. And of course, it requires two persons to trust each other.


I know it is a huge decision for parents to let go of their daughter for a marriage. They are thinking that how time flies that their cute little pie are now a young lady. And of course they are thinking of how a guy can take care of their princess.

It’s not easy.

They have their own concerns. What can a guy gives to their daughter? How will he manages to take care of her? Does he can fulfill their daughter’s needs? Or will he loves her like they did?

Everything is counted.

An understanding guy will notice it without being told. A desperate guy will ignore this because he just thinking about himself and his own happiness.

And this is what I would like to say to a guy out there.

You are fall in love with someone else daughter and you are going to marry her. Life is not just revolves between both of you. It is you, your family and hers. You should be much responsible. You shouldn’t complaining too much, try to accept her like how her parents get used to her.

There might be times when you don’t like her attitude. Tell her. Not provoking her mistake. Listen to what she wants to say instead of give her the direction. You are not going to decide what she can or cannot do. You are going to guide her to achieve what you want her to be.

You are not her boss. You are going to be someone who is near and dear to her heart. You are more than her bestfriend, and you are everything for her. So, please be aware of your attitude and the way you treat her.
“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.” ― H.M. Harwood


Okay, no hard feeling. Maybe it’s a little bit harsh, but it’s actually helps.

And everything that I said earlier, are from my observations. This is how I see things. We might have a different views or arguments, but that’s okay because I was born to understand that everyone has their own ideas. So I respect them all as long as people respect mine. That’s fair right?

So, the purpose of talking about this is because I don’t want to get blind with what people show in social media regarding the life after marriage. I want to be realistic. I want to cope with the responsibility, not just thinking about the sweetness. That’s it.
If giving my everything is what it takes, I won't hesitate, not for even a second.

Do you ever have someone who is always by your side no matter in what condition you are? The person who always care about you, your aurat and also your life besides your parents?

I have.

And he is my brother.


He already became a protector since he was like 11 years old and at that time I was 14 years old. I was not allowed to go anywhere alone or else, he will go on behalf of me.

I still remembered after SPM, I was so bored. I wanted to go outside the house, but then suddenly he bought me jigsaw puzzle and a novel 😎 (so that I will just stay at home). And during my ‘turning point’, he was the one who kept advised me with his deep talks. I miss that moment.

And when I wanted to pursue my study, the only thing he gave to me was tafsir Quran. He said, no matter how far you’ll go, bring ‘lights’ with you. And I never forget it. My life was became totally dull and boring when he went to PLKN. Oh my, day after day I thought of having him around would be much better. At least I have him to talk to. Yes, I indeed have another siblings but if I was going to talk about something deep and needed advices, I will go to him.

Everytime when I wanted to go out, he will be the observer. Hijab should cover what it needs to be covered. Loose clothes and of course should be appropriate to wear. No tight pants, and don’t forget the socks 😜. Yes, he take cares of everything. And nope, I didn’t feel burden. Doesn’t it good for having someone to remind us?

Whenever I found out that my exam results were not good enough, he told me that it’s okay. I already did my best. It’s okay. I already tried. And it’s okay. At least I went to university 😂. whenever I thought my journey was difficult, his was much more harder. But at least he got what he wanted the most.

When I started my career, and he was at his study place, distance kept us far away. But we never missed to call each other. And the funniest moment was, whenever I did call him, his friends always thought that I was his girlfriend. Yup, he didn’t has a girlfriend and yes, I do proud of him. I somehow thought if I can be as good as him. But I know, the gap is too far. I can’t be like him.

Learning was never easy. That’s why when he said that he can’t do that anymore, I force him to give all out. Because I have faith on him. Because I know learning is required. Life without learn, is such a waste. And I want him to achieve his dream, a dream that he builds since secondary school.

I always wanted to go to his convocation ceremony but I can’t make it because it’s today and because I already apply leave for next week. So I asked ma and abah to take his picture. And ma message me telling that he looks so handsome. I know. He always being a handsome guy (that’s what I always told him). Sorry for can’t make it on your graduation even I know he is so happy knowing that (he didn’t want me to go actually 😝).

You did it at last and I am so proud of you. Our journey might be different, but as long as we keep walking, there’s always a light waiting.

With love,

Your forever loveliest sister 😊.
Sincerity increases willingness to care
How did you know if someone really cares about you?

They will install iCare Apps to track your medicine taken 😜. Okay joking. Of course they will take care of you wholeheartedly and never missed to remind you about medicine medicine and medicine 😌 as well as eating eating and eating (even when you are on diet).

Being me, I am the type of person who hate to take medicine. If I have fever, I will just use Koolfever and that’s it. But if I was staying at home, Ma will came to my room repeatedly to see if I took my medicine or not and it was kinda difficult to say ‘No’ to her.

But, since my parents are not here in KL, I take it very lightly. If I fall sick, I just told myself like, it will getting better soon. And ‘soon’ was like one or two weeks. So after get to know my habit, my fiancé suddenly comes out with the iCare Apps to help he reminds me so that I won’t missed my medicine. Yes, I do feel soooo lazy sometimes and I keep tell him like I will I will I will but I still read a book. How come he is not angry, right? 😎.

I was fell sick for almost a week since I came back to KL. Not even sure why but I suddenly loss my voice. I can’t speak because it hurts my throat. After consultation with the doctors, they told me that my throat was swell and I need to rest more. And of course, I got a bunch of pills.


This is how the application looks like. Thanks for being so helpful to my fiancé. Because of you, I have to take my medicine on time. No, I’m not being sarcastic. I’m telling the truth you know. Thanks iCare.

Alhamdulillah, I am in the good state now. I just have a phone call with my Ma and she told me my voice becomes better than before. Well, maybe it’s not just because the medicine. It is surely because there are so many people who pray for my health. And yeah, should I mention iCare again? 😌.
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“Cruel people offer pity when they no longer feel threatened. However, kind people offer compassion and understanding regardless.” ― Shannon L. Alder
Happy Weekend everyone 😊.
Some beautiful paths can't be discovered without getting lost.
What if you made a wrong decision in your life and you cannot turn it back as before?

Did you run away? Or did you go through the way?

As for me, I have no choice. I have to go through it no matter how. Well, it’s not the huge decision pun. It was about my course. The one we called, Computer Science. As a typical me, I thought that computer science revolves all the Microsoft thingy like Offices, Excel, PowerPoint etc etc, or even some editing tools.

But who knows, none of them included. The first class I entered was about C++. I already had the bad feeling about the subject. Dahla C, ade plus plus lagi. But that’s not the matter. Once my lecturer jotted down the code like, ‘cout’, ‘cin’, and asked us to pronounce them, I already failed.

The correct pronunciation was c-out, but I read it as cout (kout). And c-in as cin (kin) 😑. You see how noob I was. Yeah, no worries. I also laughed at myself for being this kind of noob. Everytime Abah picked me from Uni, I spilled out everything to him. I can’t do this. It’s too difficult for me. 

Plus I hate it to the fullest.

But Abah just ignore that 😑.

Then, I told Ma. “Ma, it’s difficult. Why on earth do I have to learn programming? I don’t like it.”
And Ma just give me the same reaction like Abah did 😑.

I told my uncles, my aunties, my brothers, my sister, my cousins, and even Aiman’s cat (this was too mainstream) but everyone was just ignoring me. K fine.

Then the 2 years and half of diploma’s fight begin. More and more programming subjects coming. Whenever I felt so difficult to learn, I called Emi. And he told me to build the interest. Interest can be built. People can fall in love at the first sight and people also can fall in love by trying to like it at first. I choose the second option. I built my interest. But I was not that positive. I still can’t like it and I failed to love it.

Emi had no choice instead of keep advising me. I knew he also being at his most patience level of comforting me, but he still be there for me. Yela, I told him about this every week and if for anyone else, that could be bored. And finally, his advice did work. He told me, “Kak Ain, just learn it as a part of amanah. This is the amanah from Allah. There were a lot of people who didn’t have the opportunity to learn and you got it. Just do your best and do it for the sake of Allah. Insya-Allah there always be the help from him.

That’s it. He got his point there. And everytime I lose my interest in programming, I kept remind myself about it. Take it as amanah. Do it for the sake of Allah.

“A fruitless year, take a fearless heart, one that blooms late will flourish in the dark” 
― 
Criss JamiSalomé: In Every Inch In Every Mile


I graduated in Diploma Computer Science after all. And I change it to Information System Engineering when I pursue my study to bachelor degree. The one that I decide thoroughly. And I already aware of the subjects that I were going to learn and yes, it didn’t involve Microsoft thingy again.

Of course my degree was not in smooth journey as well, but my family were always there. And Emi, was being the one who kept advising me patiently. And since my degree was at Shah Alam, everyone did call me everyday. Luckily I didn’t have a boyfriend. If not I think I already break up after one day of relationship since I didn’t have a spare time for him (plus I don’t want to have a boyfriend too). My life is full with family. And it’s quite difficult to welcome a stranger.

Only a ‘stranger’ who is tough enough can be there and already be there. Eh? 🙊.

Well, not all wrong decisions are totally ‘wrong’. Sometimes Allah leads us to the wrong one before He helps us to see the right one, isn’t it? Or maybe the wrong decision that we think we are not fit in, is the best?

And as I always mention in my blog, don’t forget to be grateful with what we had and be patient.


True indeed 😉
Sesungguhnya Allah bersama-sama orang yang sabar (Al-Baqarah:153).

Fasabrun Jamil. 
My Spoiling Raya
If I can advice people, there's only one thing that I want to tell them. 

Please find your own happiness. If you are not happy with your life, don't bother others. Don't let people see how lifeless you are. Plus, you are not that young anymore. Don't let people see your stupidity as well. 

...

I can't tolerate with people who didn't respect others. Who do you think you are actually? Dude, please get a life even if you are forever alone. If you cannot help or speak anything nice, just keep quiet. I think it's better than talking nonsense. 

Did you know that your action affect others feeling? Oh of course you don't even know that. Because you live your life like that. I feel sorry for you since no one ever care how you are doing. But then, you can change that (if you want lah kan). 

Well, should I give you a big clap? Because you are just spoiling my raya mood. Thanks dude. You did it well 👏. 

May Allah bless you and your family.


I will choose to forget and ignore you because I am strong and intelligent. 

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. 
Take your future into your own hands. Make it happen. Life is a coloring book, but you have the pens.
Every time you see someone’s bright-and-shiny, remember: They have their own crappy truths too. Of course they do.” 
 
Sophie Kinsella, My Not So Perfect Life

I finished that book yesterday. And I definitely will give it 5 stars. I love the way Kinsella wrote, and of course she indeed knows well about the branding life, the office politics and also the modern people lifestyle. And I was amazed.

I never went to London, and of course I can’t imagine how it looks like. Maybe few times busier than KL. I don’t know. Well, it’s awesome to know Katie (or sometimes Cat) and her perception towards life. And also how she managed to ‘speak’. I mean, the honest one. She just speaks the truth and never care what people might think about her. But I found that was brave since not many of us can do that.

We often have a feeling where we are so afraid to talk. We think we might hurt others’ feeling. We might upset them. But yeah, if it is the truth, hurting or not doesn’t matter anymore. Just let the person knows that. Because sometimes I think I am like that. Too afraid to say something just because didn’t want to hurt people feeling.

It’s bored. I know that. When you always have to take care of other people feelings and you forget to see yours. In the end, the one who hurts the most is you. I know there are a lot more values in the book. But the thing that I focus the most is about this. About being a voice out person when things seem wrong. And I get it. Thanks Kinsella.

And of course, you have to throw your idea when you think you are knowledgeable about something instead of letting other people with empty mind to do that. Don’t just stay still when you can act.


Am I being too adaptable? Sounds so.